This year I have some odd time with one of my room mates. For a number of reasons I don't like him and I don't feel convinent in his presence. It is difficult when you live in the same house and share the same living room and kitchen. Both of us are aware of the tension between us. At some point, he started to be real rude to my guests and I was mad with it. One day, One of my Eritrean friend came to visit me and I was in my room. My friend knocked the front door of the house and this room mate was in the living room which is where the front door is. He didn't opened him- Worse, when I came and opened the door, my friend greeted him, but he ignored him. I was pieced off with that and from that day on, I started to ignore him in every thing. When he realized that I am ignoring him, he started to be very nice- making all kinds of offer. The odd thing of human being that I have now learned many times. But it was too late- I have already decided I will be better off by ignoring him and I don't intend to change my mind. The problem now to me is, he continued making all sorts of offer when ever he gets the chance, although I have declined almost all of them. Of course, as long as we are living in the same house and share the same living room and kitchen, I don't want to be too rude. At least I want to keep some sort of balance, but certainly I don't want his offer. I can do that with out his offer. All I want him to do now is stop making all sorts of offer. But I am not sure how to tell him I don't want any offer from him, because it sounds too rude also. Actually, this is an example of a problem I have for long time now. Now and then, I found my self the difficulty of saying "NO" to offers made to me by people. This is specially difficult when the offer is made by people who are close to you such as close friends, close relatives, class mates and office mates. In such cases, it is a big dilemma for me. You don't want to accept the offer( you may feel very uncomfortable to accept the offer for your own reasons) and at the same time, you don't want to offend the people making the offer by declining their offer. It is difficult when you know they made the offer in the expectation that you will get exited and happy with their offer.
It turns out that the art of saying "NO" is important and difficult art of communication for me. It really needs time and practice to learn it. How do you handle such circumstances? What is your experience?
Michael ~ Ze Skuff!
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